Thursday, January 08, 2009

2008 Donruss Americana 2

*THIS POST IS RATED PG-13 FOR LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND GENERAL WEIRDNESS*

Ugh. I'm bummed. I don't feel like opening a pack today. Nothing makes sense anymore. I mean.. the Red Sox?? Seriously?? They already have like eight starters. Is Wakefield now a utility infielder? Man... I just can't do it. No pack today. I'm just going to down a six pack of Zima and veg out to the Golden Girls marathon on Lifetime until the pain goes away.....

That's no way to talk, Pilgrim!

Holy crap, it's John Wayne!

Well, there are some things a man just can't run away from. Courage is being scared to death... and ripping that pack anyway. Go in there with all they've got and rip just one for the Gipper!

Um, that last one was Reagan...

Rip that pack, you son of a bitch!

Okay! Okay! I'm ripping!

114 Rob Schnieider

Why do I let John Wayne talk me into stuff.....

171 Rhonda Fleming

Hmmm... Rhonda did films with Ronald Reagan and John Payne, but not John Wayne. No, wait! She was a dance hall girl in In Old Oklahoma. That must be why John wanted me to open this pack. I like the classic stars out of this set. Check out that red hair!

128 Swoosie Kurtz

Needs a sammich. Just one sammich.

RK-KP Karo Parisyan Ring Kings AutoRelic #284/500

Autograph, um, jersey? You know what, let's just say jersey. Karo is an Armenian Judo MMA fighter. Here's Karo fighting Nick Diaz:



I don't understand this sport at all.

191 Kathie Lee Gifford

Is coming to South Park!

149 Gary Coleman

Is a P.I.M.P.

Ya know what, that pack was so terrible that I've forgotten all about my problems! THANKS JOHN WAYNE!!!


6 comments:

Thorzul said...

When life's got you down in the dumps, it sometimes takes a mixed martial arts fighter named after a brand of corn syrup to cheer you up again.

Bay Rat North West said...

1. Send me the Coleman card. I can see if he'll run me over also while asking for an auto and then have him deny everything captured on video.

2. What nut did your"jersey" cover? Didn't see too much fabric up top.

dayf said...

After watching that video I have absolutely NO interest in finding out what part of anatomy that swatch covered. NONE.

William said...

I wonder if they made Richard Simmons Workout-Video Used Leotard Swatch cards in this set.

darkship said...

Hey dayf I'm interested in the MMA card! Shoot me an e-mail and I'll se what I have for trade bait

madding said...

After getting Rob Schneider, I would have thrown that pack on the ground and stomped on it so hard that no one would have been able to recognize any other cards in the pack.